Here I am again
I’m walking all alone
No one at my side
No place to call my home

Still I am gone once more
I’m running away again
Trying to escape myself
But the emotions still the same

I tried to leave it all behind
I tried to break your steadfast hold
I haven’t managed to find my place
I’m collapsing in, and falling cold

You know I loved you once
And still I feel I do
But how can I be acting this way
When all this time you’ve been so true

I had it all so good before
But still I was not quite right
I screwed up so many things
But you still sat by with plight

It kills me, I love you still
But must leave you atop your throne
I want to draw you back near
But I’m forced
To be Alone.


My latest unfortunate creation. I guess I haven't been doing so well lately. Whenever people see you and ask, "hows it going", or "how are you"... questions of that nature. The usual response is "just fine", "good", "alright", or sometimes even just "it goes". In all reality, this is false. Sure I can trick myself into pretending I'm fine when I'm around other people, but then when I get alone I feel just that much worse.

People always seem to think I'm a generally happy person, but it's just not true. There's so many things I want to do, but just can't get them figured out in myself. Maybe I over think, or maybe I'm just missing things, but I'm really believing that your own worst enemy is in fact, you.

I've had these thoughts inside my head for a good amount of time now, and finally hit the point where I decided to write them down. I just got back from a 3 hour walk in the winter snow. The scenes are so beautiful, but that angers me all the more.

I'm not in that good of shape, I'm just trying to stay afloat. Trying to keep up with myself, and not fall behind again. I try, and try, then try again.

I'm just lost, confused, and wandering alone.